Tina, 43, Mike Weiss Gallery
Cutting over to Chelsea, I see Tina—a petite but intimidating woman who carries herself with a cultured air—and I ask her about artists’ deaths. “Basquiat died of a drug overdose or AIDS,” she said. [It’s the former.] “Warhol had appendicitis and he died from complications in the hospital,” she continued. [Wrong! He actually died of a sudden heart attack due to complications from a gallbladder surgery.] And while she didn’t know how Keith Haring died or that this year marks his 50th birthday, she did walk the gallery with me making insightful comments about the works of still-very-much-alive artists.

THE MUSIC HEAD

Bruce, 54, Downtown Music Gallery
“I have a hot date with a jazz aficionado and I need a crash course!” I tell store-owner Bruce, whom I found chattering on about avant-garde this and free-jazz that. One question and Bruce goes off: “John Coltrane is originally from Philadelphia and lived in Long Island. He died in 1967 and…” [Coltrane was born in Hamlet, North Carolina, but okay, we won’t split hairs.] “…And then there’s Ornette Coleman: He’s one of the originators of…” I cut in: “Is he related to Gary Coleman?” “The actor? No. I don’t think so.” Almost got ya!

Rafael, 30, Virgin Megastore
Would a Virgin employee know his shiznit better than a jazz snob? I tossed some softballs at Rafael, the Union Square location’s biggest music fan: What year did Michael Jackson’s Thriller come out? “1984!” [Bzzz! 1982.] What’s the No. 1 single on the Billboard charts this week? “I don’t know,” he shrugged. Last question: Who won Best New Artist at the Grammys this year? “Amy Winehouse!” Score!

THE POLITICAL JUNKIE

Sam, 32, West 23rd Street
Why bully Sam? Dude’s rockin’ a HILLARY FOR PRESIDENT T-shirt when he knows dang well she doesn’t stand a chance. “I’m still hopeful she’s going to win,” he says. “She’s constantly working on legislation with Republicans. Before Senator Bill Frist left, she worked with him on a nationwide bill to promote electronic medical records. [So far, so good.] I don’t think Barack Obama is too young, he just doesn’t have the same experience as Hillary; after all, Bill Clinton was the same age as Barack when he was elected President.” All true. Let’s hear it for a man who can back up his slogan!

Regina, 53, Washington Square Park
This gal’s sporting head-to-toe green, so I ask her if she’s part of the Green Party. “What’s that?” she says. “I’m a Democrat, and I voted for Barack ’cause he’s fresh! I pick my politicians based on vibes.” What about John McCain? “Oh, he’s no good—too old.” Oh, yeah? How old? “Too old!” You’re making ’bama look bad, babe.

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